lost, for a little while

michigan, my michigan (part iii)
November 20, 2010, 7:24 pm
Filed under: rant

Guys, I just found five dead stinkbugs in the trunk of my car when I was loading it. FIVE. This is in addition to the three I found in the drawer under the front seat, and the handful of live ones that were crawling around before it got so cold. Which brings me to a very special reason why Michigan rocks:

It’s not Pennsylvania.
No Eagles fans. No Philly accent. An almost total lack of New York/Pennsylvania/New Jersey drivers. No stinkbugs infesting my car. (Still a lot of fat people, though, unfortunately.)

Okay, just needed to get that off my chest. Onto the other reasons.

Tim Allen Detroit Lions

I don't know how to spell that sound he makes.

Tim Allen
No lie: A lot of people from my town say Mr. Allen is kind of a douchebag. However, he is from Michigan and often wore a Detroit Lions sweatshirt on Home Improvement. Plus, I enjoyed Galaxy Quest. And he does voiceovers for the Pure Michigan ads, too. So bravo, Mr. Allen. Keep making Michigan look good, and let’s keep the douchebaggery to a minimum.

White Castle Cheeseburger Crave Case

Can you say, "Crave Case"?

White Castle
I know White Castle can be found in other states, but I have yet to visit one of those states. Plus, it used to be a tradition of mine to go get some tiny burgers every time I got back in town. (This tradition has been discontinued since my place of employment has made me feel guilty about everything I consume, period. Still. They’re delicious.)

me + historic base ball player/hero

Greenfield Village
Henry Ford, the great innovator and racist that he was, had a penchant for collecting historical buildings. Yeah, rich people are weird. Anyway, we now randomly have a historical village located outside of Detroit where you can go see the Wright Brothers’ house, and learn how to dip candles, and watch historic base ball.

Old Man at Hash Bash, Ann Arbor

Hey, you guys here for Hash Bash?

Ann Arbor Hippies
MSU may be sillier, but U of M got the better town. Ann Arbor is everything a college town should be (and everything my college town was not), filled with quirky shops and staples like Urban Outfitters, and restaurants, bars, and coffee shops to satisfy even the pickiest eater. Also, it’s filled with hippies, both dirty and clean. I doubt there’s another place in Michigan where you will find more organic Co-Ops, bicycles, and white people with dreadlocks. It’s fabulous. Also, there is the annual Hash Bash. I think you know what that’s for.

Gaylord, MI
Do I really need to explain this?


The signs that welcome you to Michigan.
No matter what, no matter how long I’ve been driving, how much traffic I got stuck in, how long the line was for customs in Canada, how late at night (or early in the morning) is it…I see this sign and get such a huge grin on my face. I also may or may not shout it as I drive by. GREAT LAKES, GREAT TIMES, PEOPLE.

Cheap Car Washes
Michigan loves its cars. We don’t have that emissions testing nonsense and we certainly don’t have functioning public transportation. Why? Because the state would never do anything to prevent people from owning a car. To reward the billions of car owners in our state, we also have dirt-cheap car washes. I’m talking $2 (used to be $1 before the economy tanked), and they’re GOOD. The first thing I’m doing when I get home, after I unload the Blueberry, is vacuuming the crap out of it (to get any final dead stinkbugs) and then taking it to the car wash. I can’t wait.


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

There is absolutely NOT an Anthropologie in Ann Arbor. I demand a retraction immediately!

Comment by Katie

Ouch, bad call, Ann Arbor. Still, that doesn’t retract from my main point, which is: HIPPIES. Fixed.

Comment by lostforalittlewhile

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